…and if you do, then Oh, F U! Just Kidding.
Today is Turkey Day (NOT Tofurkey!) in the good ol’ United States of America, a country that has a special place in my heart.
I have always enjoyed my forays into the US. Be it semi-regular grocery shopping trips to Niagara Falls USA with the missus, or my epic honeymoon to Universal Orlando, or my trip to Universal and Disney MGM as a 12-year old, I have always enjoyed my time heading across the border.
It was in the US where I had one of my best experiences as a member of Phi Delta Theta for example, heading to the Emerging Leaders Institute in 2004. I’ve had my two best vacations south of the border as well. While only one of my favourite sports teams resides in the US – the Green Bay Packers – they have won 2 championships in the last in the last 15 years (note: NAILS!).
Needless to say, there’s much to envy of our neighbours to the south. For me though, perhaps the biggest thing is Thanksgiving.
I’ll go on the record as saying this – we Canadians should have adopted the same Thanksgiving as Americans. I mean, shit – 4 days of family, fun, food, football (holy eff)! Them folks down thur know how to do a holiday right, and it really shows in November.
Today would be so much better if I were at home, perhaps cleaning up for some family to come over and enjoy a turkey dinner. The Macy’s Day Parade would have been on, and I’d currently be having a beer while watching some daytime NFL football. The sweet aromas of sweet potatoes and pumpkin pie emanating from the kitchen. It would be a terrific day.
Additionally, you’d have Black Friday to look forward to! I know, I know – Canadian retailers are doing their own versions of this day. But, really? I mean, Canada already has an “America Junior” complex, do we really need to add “Black Friday Junior” to that? Besides, prices in the US are typically lower than they are here – all Black Friday does in Canada is rub it in that there are costing disparities between our two nations.
But yet, we celebrate in October:
On Thursday, January 31, 1957, the Parliament of Canada proclaimed:
|“||A Day of General Thanksgiving to Almighty God for the bountiful harvest with which Canada has been blessed – to be observed on the 2nd Monday in October.||”|
I’m guessing that this wording was considered more diplomatic than: “Because November be too fucking cold to harvest anything but shitting frost-bite.” The history of Thanksgiving in Canada is interesting: it was held at mostly arbitrary dates (in the spring and summer in addition to October and November).
For a stretch in the 19th century, we seemed to have the same Thanksgiving as the US – a Thursday in November. And then, in 1957, came the declaration above. Thanks, Louis St. Laurent! See – damn Liberals ruin everything.
So, instead of gorging ourselves silly on a Thursday whilst drinking and watching football, and then going out shopping on a Friday, and then recovering for 2 weekend days, we get to fight the grocery stores on Saturday, have people over on Sunday, and then spend Monday trying to catch up on errands and lamenting going back to work the next day. How the fuck was this deemed BETTER? My guess is anti-Americanism, but what do I know?
Regardless, I hope my American friends have a great Thanksgiving. As someone who is almost American at heart, I can only watch your celebrations in envy and hope that one day, a government of ours decides to again arbitrarily set a new date for the holiday in much the same way that the government in 1957 arbitrarily set the date.